No Prince Charming in a Cesspool: My Dating Horror Stories & a Self-Love Happy Hour

[00:00] I was like, okay, very about how to fight drunk by this point. And he got out of his phone and he had videos of different girls that he's slept with. In the folders as well. So it was like Jessica, Emma, whatever. And he was like, I just, I would really like to actually like to, to like, I really want news to have your own folder.

[00:26] With welcome to InterSense on your safe, unfiltered late night space, where technology meets intimacy. Recorded live with members of our community. We're talking about everything from modern love to dating disasters and self exploration. Just like you would with your best friends after midnight.

[00:47] Am your host Natalie. Let's get into it. So I feel like, how to, you know, I feel like I could probably do this entire life, just going through my many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many more stories. But I know that obviously this is your specialist area.

[01:08] And you've got to have heard some absolute clangers in your time. I'm just wondering if you have any favorites that you can remember that you'd like to start off with. Honestly, I've had so many, it's up until I met my partner. I weren't like, it was just one bad day after another after another.

[01:27] So there's been so many. I think one that stands out for me is when I went on a date with someone and it got to, the end of the day, and their card got declined, which was a bit, yeah. And it was time to know, because he was the one who suggested to like the day and he wanted to go somewhere by fancy. I was up for literally just going for like a coffee, about going somewhere fancy.

[01:56] And anyway, his card's got declined and then he was like, oh, I'm so sorry, she might have hanged for this and I'll get the next one. And then literally just got up and left me with the bill. I didn't even wait for me to pay, just got up and left.

[02:11] And I was really, I was really upset and I was like, I decide to call my mum. And I was like, oh, my mum, like this guy, he's left me with the bill and I can't afford it. I have like, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then what happened? And then it kind of took a good twist because then what happened? Was someone on the other table, all the bad? I would say like my dad's age, baby, a bit older. Was that, oh my god, I overheard what happened to you. I hope you're okay. And then we started chatting, having a chat, and then he paid the bill for me. And he didn't want anything from it either. It was just like he felt so sorry for me and so so.

[02:51] See, that was the goal of the age of gentleman I think. Yeah. There was young, young guys, if you want to know how to really, because some of you guys, like to talk about, you know, a loneliness epidemic and girls, like if you want to know how to get girls, look at how they treated women back in the day, say, people get to know what women to be like, they work like, and you know, we would like some of that golden age of gentleman, leadless back. Yeah, well, we'd be nice. We'd be nice to bring that back in. So that's what that took like the last turn. And other ones, I felt out of drain once on a day.

[03:32] That sounded strange. I like stirred on like a dodging drain. I literally fell. I think it was that even just a like, oh, it was like a full fall up to my way. So out of drain. We had a heels as well. That was a heels as well. They were like these sleep on heels and they fell. So I lost my heels as well.

[03:53] And then he had to like pull me out of the drain. And like my whole legs were like covered in like sewage. It was so disgusting. And then you like carried me back in sight. It was a good way of getting back into my place though. I must say. I mean, yeah. Because I'm happy to help me back into my, my things.

[04:14] Harry, you were from to the threshold. Yeah, exactly. So it's just getting with that in my flat at the time. That yeah, that was bad. Yeah, I mean, like I would say like one of those was like bad, bad. And one of those was just embarrassing. And you can laugh about it now. Yeah, that was bad thing.

[04:37] And then I have a lot more as well, which kind of sad as out to be is what I thought I was being pimped.

[04:45] I mean, this is wild. I'm just. That's right. So we met, we met on him, touched me. It was not a dating app. And we were both actually chatting away, whatever decided to meet up. And then he decided he wanted to take me to a bar, but it was a near where he lived. So already that was a red one. Yeah, that was like those ones.

[05:07] But at the time, I was just like, okay, he's hot, whatever, like, you know, but just see what happens. I would like open to something maybe happening. Anyway, have drinks with him. And he was like, definitely try to get me very drunk, like, through the day and everything like, heck, give him your drinks, drinks and beddies. Like, I actually live literally across the road for him here. So I ended up going back to his flat. I like I wanted to do this thing. I wanted to, I'm not a bit attractive. I'm hot. And again, we were having more drinks in his flat now and everything.

[05:46] And you know, you're probably thinking, okay, this just sounds like a typical one-night stand. Like, fine. But then he was like, oh, I really want to show you something on my phone. I was like, okay, very about I was quite drunk by this point. And he got out his phone and he had videos of different girls that he's slept with in his phone in folders as well. So it was like Jessica, Emma, whatever. And he was like, I just, I would really like to actually like to, to like, I really want me to have your own folder with the other girl. I really want you to have your own folder.

[06:29] Yeah, I thought I'd be picking my head. Oh my god, is he trying to like, film me because I'm really drunk as well. So he might be like, okay, she'll consent to it anyway because she's really drunk. And then what if he's trying to make money or for these videos of women that he's got on his phone?

[06:44] That is why I was. Yeah, and then what else I found a bit odd was the fact like he lived as like central London. He had like a really beautiful flat in the central London. He lived on his own as well.

[06:58] Yeah, he lived on his own in central London. But then he's job. He worked in like marketing for like a start of company. And I was like, how are you fording to live in central London in this beautiful flat? I was like, what he might have like a side hustle or something that he does. I was just kidding, I had a little bit of a good, you like, pimps people. His side hustle was like, make only fans, but it was all of you guys. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, maybe that's what he does.

[07:25] And like, I still don't do this thing. I'm just I'm just gagging at the, I want you to have your own folder line. Like they. Yeah. And like he was just showing me all these different girls. He slept with like different videos into for, oh my god, this is awful. And like he would in me to have my own folder.

[07:47] Oh my god, why can't I get this so on? Yeah, I'm just wondering what the real life skills genuinely like? I really consented to that, did they consent to that? And I mean in full, like it's one thing to consent to be filmed, but like, did you know that you were just one of multiple girls on the phone and named folders? And did you know that he was going to then show these videos to the next girl? Well, so when you get someone really drunk, obviously you lose your inhibitions a little bit, you might be a bit like, oh yeah, this is fine. Okay, why not? Like, sort of things. So I was like, maybe this is part of the act that he does. Like he gets the girl over, gets the really drunk,

[08:29] you know, has the beautiful flat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that's for us that is. So like, get you hooked. Yeah, like it's some sort of privilege and honor to be in random man's folders on his phone. I'm going to be very, I'm any guy who ever says anything about folders moving forward. Oh, gosh, where do I even begin? I think let's, we'll start at the beginning, so very good friends. Yeah, I think my life to a friend, because she says she wanted to join us.

[08:59] Oh, please, please, let's share, let's have like everybody join. I was a teenager and I was dating this guy and it was my birthday. I think it was like my 19th birthday and you know, teenagers, we don't have lots of money, but still like there's an appropriate mess, isn't it? Like you can do things without saying everything. This guy, he gave me a necklace very sweet. Would have been totally happy with the necklace. We're not for the fact that as he gave it, he says, yeah, I actually bought this for another girl, but I never gave it to him. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[09:41] that reminds me of, um, yeah, I can't, I can't, try to remember what the program is called, it's on Netflix, and it's with Kristen, um, oh my god, it's basically, yeah, and she takes the Jewish guy. Oh, I know I've not seen it. It's like a Hong Kong anyway. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, you know that. He buys her a necklace but then he's bought the same necklace for his ex girlfriend. He has this thing where he buys the same, like exactly the same history, but he like full his exes. Yeah, no, that honestly it was basically that, it's just the last girl to get it, so it was registing in a way, I guess. You should have just not said anything at all, because she wouldn't know

[10:23] like none, none, none, none the wiser. So I would have been perfectly happy with the necklace, you know, but hey, um, one then I was just sharing just as you were coming on the live, like obviously the type on diabetes aspect opens me up to a whole world of other, um, really interesting dating experiences, and I remember being on a date with the guy and it was the worst thing because you know, recently sometimes you go on a date with somebody and already you're like, I'm really wasn't that into you but I'm giving you a chance. Hmm, and it's the ones you give a chance to that are always the worst and you think how are you doing this to me? Like I was giving you a chance, bro. Um, and I was on this date with the guy, we just come for coffee. It was all very pleasant. Until he looked at me and he went, so

[11:09] she find it hard to get a boyfriend because of your type on diabetes.

[11:18] Why? I never really thought about it until this moment. How does that ever come into play? I think you find it hard to get a girlfriend based up to dick, but you know, um, I'm restrained myself. No, but I just don't know how that even comes into play. My friend JJ is crying and he's also he's an incredibly good looking type one. So if you're ever wanted to know about, um, I kind of reminded you guys like, right? Exactly. Like if you ever want to see, listen, as type ones, there's something in the

[11:53] insulin because yeah. Baddies. I think my saddest, my saddest dating horror story. It wasn't even like it was an early day. I've been seeing this guy for a few months. And it was like, I guess it was a situation ship. It wasn't a relation, but he had said that he wanted to spend Christmas with me.

[12:20] So I was like, yeah, normally I go and spend it with my family because I'm like single pringle. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna friend. He's like, friend, best you might go. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. What a dating on a dating horror stories and live.

[12:38] Um, I, um, yeah. So I said, cool. I will stay here in my apartment. I won't go back to my family for Christmas. I'm just quite excited. I was like, I'm gonna do the Christmas couple thing. And like, so I'm just crepping to it. I've got that. But as money on food, I'm like, I'm all the presents and they're all wrapped in like matching wrapping paper and I got up super early on Christmas day. And I cooked Christmas dinner from scratch. And then I sat there and I waited. I didn't even open presents from my family because I was like, I'm gonna wait and we're like, I'm gonna meet that stuff. Yeah. I

[13:16] waited and waited and waited and waited. And he stood me up on Christmas. That's so bad. He just sat over and he just didn't even text me to say he wasn't coming. He just, I, I went from light to dark and the dinner just went bad in the oven as it's stayed warming warming for like, I just don't know how you can stand someone up on Christmas. Like, I didn't even look at what like I was somebody to say. Like why? I just, I was like, I was genuinely like, this is the most cruel, if somebody asked me to dream up the most wild, cruel and unusual punishment for somebody,

[13:58] I couldn't even father them that it was so cruel. And I was like, did I, did I do something to watch that kill one of your family members and this is some kind of revenge? Like what? What actually did I do to deserve that it was wild. That is crazy. It's giving like, it's giving like a stenders Christmas day, you know, when it's like a day or something really dramatic happens, like you find out. I don't know if someone's having an affair or whatever. And then you're like, I've thought the did I, I don't know, I don't know if somebody gave me a, the, the, the, the, I'll probably thought back to you about the whole situation. I'd be like, oh, but, but no, I just, I just, I just sat here

[14:41] and it'd be a taxi to a port, do you say anything like, oh my god. I'm so sorry. Do you call you anything, who was me and likes them? It's the night later on. And was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm not Christmas is done by then, the stunts. And I was like, at this point, I'm just like, I was assuming you have a wife and a family somewhere else.

[15:02] Because like, why else would you stun somebody on Christmas day? And the worst thing is I couldn't even tell my family to this day. I'm never told my family that because they would be so devastated at the idea that I spent Christmas. Oh, that's true. Oh, that's horrible.

[15:20] Yeah, so like, that was that one was wild. That one was wild. I told my family that they was like, go find this person. I'm not really, really, really. My dad probably would. So I'm like, you know what, it's probably best for all parties involved. But I don't know, my family.

[15:39] Yeah, I don't know. But I went to the lens off because they knew that I was staying here to be with this guy. They, they, me and they were like, oh, what did he get you for Christmas? And I dug out an old bracelet and took a picture of an old bracelet on my wrist.

[15:55] Oh, he got me this because I couldn't tell them. Oh, my God, that's all. I couldn't tell the lens that I went to. It was actually wild. And the worst thing was I felt so sick. I couldn't even eat the Christmas dinner at any point. So you'd be completely puffed by then.

[16:11] Yeah, I tried to like pack it away at some point in the night. And the thing was, it'd been left in the oven for so long that when I tried to be the next day. Like it was just disgusting anyway. So I just threw through through away hundreds of pounds worth of food like, I mean, I like, I like, okay, like everything.

[16:28] Oh, my God, that's awful. I can laugh about it now. I know he stands Christmas on his own next year. I don't think he stands Christmas in prison. It's, it's actually scary, isn't it? How many dating horror stories? That are out there, like, I hear it so much. I see so much of it on social media.

[16:51] Like, I don't know. Do you think it's like something that's like, it's always been this bad? I think we're like dating apps, definitely. Like, it's definitely in my generation. I'm probably yours as well. Like, she remember when Tinder first got introduced. It was literally like kind of portrayed as like the hook on that.

[17:11] So it's like, oh, you know, Tinder to hook up with someone. And I would've actually put myself in such like dangerous situations. And I'd go meet a guy who went to my friends, went to my family where I'm going. He's a dress, what I'm doing and stuff. And it's like, that was so normal back there.

[17:29] Yeah, I'll just to like go do that. So yeah, I think it's definitely got worse since dating apps have. I agree. I definitely think it's got worse because like before dating apps. It was even slightly like, you know, it was just social media. It was kind of a bit sad to try and meet somebody through social media.

[17:53] Yeah, I'm a little bit more in real life in a bar. Yeah, well, because it was a bit of a trend. Oh, it's a bit sad to be on a dating app or be on a dating website or something like that. Yeah, I mean, like, no, it's kind of like it's fully gone. It's fully gone the other way.

[18:10] And I just feel like this is, it's a little bit like, I saw a great, a great video. Just yesterday on the day before with a guy who was going like, Options is not, it's not a slacks. Like everybody has options in a very common spot. Options doesn't mean like, you've got people who are serious about you or people that it's real or it's meaningful.

[18:36] It's any of those things. That's just the world that you live in with social media dating apps. But like, if out of all of those options, there's really only one or two people who you could have some genuine alignment with. Like what are you doing? What are you trying to try treating like why you go through life?

[18:56] Like you think you're some sort of like, prize with options when in reality, like everybody else. You've probably got one or two people. Yeah, you could have a genuine connection with that. No, I agree with you 100%. What's that? Like, for me, I said, even, like, my partner, I just need to meet him on a dating app.

[19:14] But for ages, I was like using them and then I met him. It was like in real life. So I'm a big fan of being in real life. I think more people should go out and be in real life because the amount of times, Well, I say the amount of times, but whenever I have met somebody in real life, I've often thought and I like them.

[19:34] I've often thought, like, I would have swiped less on you if I'd seen you on a dating app. Because then I'd like about you. What I like about you is that there's a friendship that is in a set of quotes. That's spark. It's that something between you that you can't capture.

[19:49] In and in my heart. Yeah, I agree. And also, like, I think a lot of men sometimes don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to put together a profile that looks appealing and they don't have to read a profile either.

[20:11] This is one of my massive massive bug bear. So as you know, you know, I talk about a lot of things and one of those subjects is politics. Like I work on a political reality show. I'm not a politician, but it gives you some insight into the type of person that I am and you know everything.

[20:29] you know everything. So I put that on my profile it's actually under my two treats and a libel is kind of obvious which ones are the treats and a lie you know I've got a video from the show also on my profile so you can see me walking down down in the street but it's kind of obvious that I have at least a political inclination and yet I often shopped at the amount of times guys were matching me and they've clearly only looked at my pictures because we'll start talking and we'll maybe talk for a couple of weeks and like you know you took off fun stuff first and then I'll say something slightly political and you could almost see the eye roll or hear the

[21:10] side from the front of the hand and then one of your one of them and I'm like I made that very clear on my profile why did you make me if you don't like that about me like you've just wasted two weeks of my time talking to you yeah exactly like they should know what they're getting into first for sure and the enlisted is strong intelligent woman scares you move on with you yeah maybe just move on and this wasn't a dating story as such but it wasn't interaction with a very well-known celebrity male and this is exactly how to go back to the type on diabetes thing which we've said had to

[21:54] hold new elements of potential catastrophe to any experience but I was I've had I've had a little moment in the press and I was invited to join Joey Essex at the Lord Doctor's and you teeth whining product I've heard it speak and so to walk the red carpet listen I've never really watched I'm terrible I don't watch the violent or the only way is Essex or anything like that that's my instant punk beeping I don't watch any of that but I've still like I know if you Joey Essex is this kind of cool and they were like oh we're putting you in Joey's booth you know there's free

[22:36] champagne and this that you know what I was like cool yeah so I get there get to this club and I meet Joey and his friends and I've got my instant punk on my arm and I'm not joking this guy hoaxed it oh my god he hoaxed my instant punk and you can use a lot of stuff what's like a bear a bear or something like that maybe like she thought like I was an android and I was gonna go oh let's learn I don't know but yeah he pokes it and he's like what's that and I said oh it's my

[23:15] instant punk type one diabetic and he looks me up and down and he goes is that from putting on weight oh god he might face and I was absolutely I'm like I think you know me well enough batteries now I'm not particularly easy to to rock person I'm very confident I've been happy to wear my tech on show I will talk about anything but it rocked my confidence for a week afterwards I started wearing my instant punk in places where it was hidden it's also just people you were like

[23:54] now in mind it's just not I mean I definitely realized at that point the whole stupid Joey S. things not now he is very yeah it was not but I'm running as well I guess but yeah probably was just so stupid he probably was just like oh what is this what does it do like is she I'm afraid of you in the in the comments column it was awful like I do not think I was the type of person to get rocked I'm not confident snuck at all but I did I hid it for a whole week afterwards and I was not myself and my brother got my brother with his my best friend and he knew that

[24:37] wasn't feeling good and by chance the next week he came across an advert in the paper and it was completely ignorant yeah he came across an advert in paper and he took a photograph of it and what sat it to me and he said how are you going to feel sad about this guy and the ad said come to the opening of our kebab shop and meet Joey S.

[25:02] yeah I was literally opening a kebab shop the next week and I was like yeah yeah I think you're all good I think so and JJ exactly I am proud of it I have always said you know what I meet so many type ones who are athletes who are doctors who are actors relatively be stars who are super models literally jack white horse new wife rocks you hold my dear friend is an actual model and is type one like I'm so proud of everything that we achieved is type one because if it weren't for our tech and people saw us walking down the street they would

[25:42] have no idea the battles that we go through every day just to keep ourselves alive and I am so proud of everyone in our community so a little bit of a little side thing there but a hundred percent like something I've ever thought ashamed of nor will I ever feel ashamed of and now I just love trolling Joey S. by bringing that story out in all three times it's a good story to be heard well I can you if you ever did stand a comedy if you're good one to put in the reads it is must be me we are hissing the concept of looking after yourself self-plish yourself love and of course part of the reason that we should look after ourselves and love ourselves is because it can get

[26:26] sticky out there and that's what we've been talking about tonight is dating horror stories so that one prestige and that is another great example of why self love is very important because it is a constant if you can self love and look after yourself no matter what happens in your dating life and you're love life that is something that you can always rely on so well and also I think when you're in a place where you really start to love yourself and have self love yourself you end up attracting the right person or being in the right space to actually meet someone as well absolutely absolutely and until then guys you know that you can rely on sense on and it will never judge you it will never pass it into your WhatsApp

[27:10] it will never stand you up on Christmas day I think that's so but I still can't get over that that's so bad I mean like I said I can laugh about it now I can laugh about it that's it for tonight's session thank you for spending your time with us if this episode made you laugh not or scream same please leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple podcasts it genuinely helps other women find us and come hang out in our discord the link is in the show notes until next time take care of yourself in every way